"Make Me An Offer I Cannot Refuse"

Accenture called me up two weeks ago and gave me a job offer. I never took my application (actually I never applied, they just found my resume) to Accenture seriously because 1) I swore that I'd never work in a company dedicated to software development, 2) the work is project based, and rumor has it that if you don't have a project you're idle and if you do have one, you're overworked (plus there's no overtime pay), and 3) the salary is pretty low (actually it's 15K, the minimum for new programmers, but I want to get at least 17K so I won't feel the tax deduction).

Now, I've still been applying in a number of companies, and I'm really hoping to get a job at Security Bank. Unfortunately, I could have done SO MUCH BETTER on my interview. So I guess that's goodbye to my only other serious application.

I haven't heard from the other companies I've applied for (I submit my resume online so it's not that reliable), so technically I have no other active applications. Mil, also experiencing the unemployment problem, called me up last Wednesday to ask me if we could walk-in on companies in Makati. I said okay, because... well, I needed it.

Alas, Thursday morning, I get a call from Accenture, following up about the job offer. Having to make a decision with only 3 hours of sleep rendered me to say "No, I'm really sorry." So they tell me I have to return the job offer documents.

Return it!?! But I'm not even sure if I really do want to take it. *cry* I woke up 5 hours later questioning if I really should accept the Accenture job offer. I'm thinking I should just accept the offer because 1) I doubt if I'll be able to get any other offers, 2) I should be applying as a Trainee, and Accenture IS going to train me in case I work there, 3) it's Accenture, hello?! and 4) the offer's starting to look really good.

Auuuuuugggghhhhh!!!!

Mil says that there might be other better offers, but I don't know if I can still hold out for a couple more months of unemployment. Plus I'm pretty tired of the whole application process. And really... the offer's starting to look good.

So. Anybody give me a sign whether or not I should go with Accenture. Or better yet, give me a job offer that I cannot refuse.

The World Remains Unchanged

Four years ago, he was introduced to me by a high school friend. Meeting him was different from meeting all of my other batchmates, probably because at that moment, I had this tiny intuition that we were going to have some... history together. I shrugged the feeling off, preoccupied with 1s and 0s and programs that would determine if a word was a palindrome. My world, for that year, remained the same all throughout: The boring white building separated from the main campus, sunny weather with occasional rainshowers, and my entire existence revolving on a routine involving sleeping, eating, studying, more studying, and watching movies.

A year later, he was no longer an acquaintance, and he wasn't precisely a friend either. We were becoming more than friends. 8 PM became different from all the other hours of the day because that would be the time that we'd start texting. I began anticipating schoolday mornings, the 10-minute break between classes when my friends and I would hang out in the corridor talking to him and his other classmates. I couldn't wait to go to school, in the once-boring white building that now breathes with the life of the students that walks its halls, a place where the roads traveled by random indivuduals converge. The sun was warm and inviting, and the occasional rains fell softly, bringing with it the pallid, sweet smell that I love. My routine remained the same, yet the world seemed to be more vibrant than I had ever felt it was for the past 17 years of my life.

Unfortunately, the experience of falling in love comes to an end. Things went back to the way they were, losing its brightness and vibrancy. The excitement of discovering a new emotion had faded and left us with boring familiarity. Love was still there, but not with the same frequency it had in the start. Each argument we had and each month spent apart contributed to the decline of our love. Things were slowly slipping, and in a couple of months, we had to part ways.

So we did. The pain, of course, was the complete opposite of the happiness I had felt when we were falling in love. It wasn't entirely the bad condition of the breakup that caused me pain, but remembering. Things were good before, but now... what happened? I thought of the time I had wasted with him, but what hurts the most is wondering how the both of us lost something that was seemingly perfect. Like any girl nursing herself from a breakup (especially the first one), I depleted the world's supply of tissue and binged on comfort food. I hated the decision of where I had studied college and I hated my course - reasons for my confinement in a dilapidated, graying building that taunted me for my failures. The sun's rays were harsh and the rain was nothing but mild depressant that caused discomfort, cold, and floods. My life was hell, and I felt that the world was punishing me.

Thankfully, all wounds, to some extent heal, and the pain I once felt had gradually subsided. In time with letting go of love, I also said goodbye to the college where the first love story of my life started. We never saw each other again, and the last time we talked was during the December holidays. We're friends, but only the type that says "Let's go out one time for coffee," but never do. I don't suppose we'll ever forget that we were once an Us, but I'm sure we've pushed one another into the back of our minds and labeled as Past. Another cycle of my life begins, or probably returns to the way it was four years ago. I'm not studying anymore, but hopefully I'll soon get a job that'll give me a similar routine of sleeping, eating, working, working, and watching movies. Maybe I'll get myself another boring white building. Maybe I'll see the world as full of life again. But right now, I'm content with in seeing the world the way that it was four years ago - unchanged, boring, with sunny weather with occasional rainshowers.

So, You Think You're Wierd?

It's funny how a lot of people would go to lengths to stand out. Skimpy outfits. Piercings. Funny shirts. Black lipstick. Black, thick-rimmed glasses. Reading the Da Vinci code. Not reading the Da Vinci code. Taking part in philosophical discussions.

Being wierd isn't just a status anymore: it's a goal.

(And I used to think being unique was something all of us inherently had.)

Look around you, clone. You're not the only one with those clothes. You're not the only one with those glasses. And for chrissakes, try to understand what you're talking about.

You think you're wierd? Think again.

In loving memory of Wierdness, before being mass-marketed and changing into Trend.
We will miss you.

The Undiagnosed Mental Illness

Remember a night spent lying awake, just thinking about yourself and your life. Thinking about how things went in the day, remembering some similar event in the past and your reaction to all those moments. You conclude something with regards to your personality: something unique, something that is not of the norm. Something wierd.

Remember a time when you were mad with rage. "The world is unfair, " you think, and then your mind goes, or explores extremes. One, you just go numb: nothing except a white wall. Two, you think of ways to ease the pain: pounding holes in the wall with your fists, slashing, suicide, even homicide.

Remember a time you were with a crowd - your family, your friends, any significant number of people. Presented with stimuli like a situation, a joke, or a problem everyone gives the same reaction. Everyone, that is, except you. They laugh, you feel compassion. They cry, you are amused. They analyze the situation, you wonder what there is to analyze about.

Remember the moment where you just stood in front of the mirror and asked, "Is there something wrong with me?"

It's not just you, you know. Everyone's had to have asked this question at least once. We all have this fear of living in a room with padded walls. We all have this fear of being different from the crowd (which is wierd because we all want to stand out, but that's another issue). We're afraid of ourselves, we're afraid of something inside ourselves. We fear the dark side of our personality. The dark side of our personality, which is, ironically, the product of our repression in trying to be with the norm.

We all want to break free from the monotony of life. We all want to stand up and just let go. We want to refuse to take that bus to work and simply spend the day watching a movie. We want to refuse to watch our politicians in the news and just tell them how stupid they are. We want to refuse silent observation and just yell out our opinions.

But if we try to, nobody listens.

And we're repressed. Probably not too repressed to pass for a clinical definition, but repressed nonetheless.

Nobody bothers to check.

And its all the same.

Concerning Piracy and the OMB Bill

I have heard the news about the OMB bill, which allows cops to arrest anyone caught buying pirated DVDs. Now, when I heard it, I got pissed, primarily because I am an avid fan of pDVDs. My second reaction was to be amused. It's all wrong. It'll never work.

A lot of people wonder why, despite the enormous number of laws and bills passed by the Senate, the Philippines is still in a state of disorder. Look at any major street and you'll see a huge number of traffic violations being committed. Imagine, all those long hours spent by our congressmen and senators just deliberating, gone down the drain. You want to know what the problem is? COPS.

A fellow yahoo groupmate of mine cracked that the actual police motto was "to serve and protect... themselves". I agree. Whenever I see a cop, I don't feel safe. I become afraid. Afraid that they might find some reason to give me a ticket, and find some way for them to receive 100 bucks. Now, I'm pretty sure such a scenario won't be any different from me buying pirated DVDs. Suppose I get caught with 500 pesos worth of DVDs. They won't confiscate that, but I will need to pay 100 just for them to get off my back. So I give them the money. It's a 100 debit, but once I sell those DVDs I've earned around 200. It's not much, but I'm still making money. So will the cops stop me? Hell no.

Another reason as to why I'm amused - the cops are arresting the wrong people... or better yet, the wrong place. I buy my DVDs in Quiapo, a mecca for pirated dvds. People sell, people buy. Our lawmakers want to prevent piracy? Arrest those who actually DUPLICATE the originals. And if they can't get to them, the next they could do is arrest the sellers. You can't exactly arrest the buyers because, well, there's just too many of us. And we're mobile. We move. Sellers don't. Pirated DVD makers don't. They stay in one place - their store or their abandoned warehouses. So anyway, with the bill in place, cops are going to hang around the streets of Quiapo, waiting for some unfortunate guy carrying newly-bought dvds. If the point of all this is to stop piracy, why arrest one guy? Why not just arrest the sellers? It's just a couple of meters away. Wouldn't that be more effective? (and actually get them more loot?)

This anti-piracy drive is stupid. It's a waste of monetary and labor resources. Cops should be out there in the streets managing traffic. Leave the piracy sector alone. And that excuse about the local entertainment industry dying because of piracy is just plain bullshit. If they had produced movies with an ACTUAL story instead of just some new actor/actress/loveteam whispering cliched nothings to one another while being pelted with bullets, then I would probably give a teenyweeny more support to the anti-piracy drive. Besides, if Bong Revilla or Edu Manzano (who, also, I am ASHAMED to say is a Lasallian) had done their research properly, they'd find out that we buyers only purchase English movies. Primarily because we DO support the local industry and would buy an original filipino movie, and secondly because we have good taste.

Oh, and before I sign off, and while we're on the subject of good taste - Bong Revilla and Edu Manzano, tell both your sons to QUIT the showbiz industry. They'd be better off having a career that doesn't require one to be in front of a camera. Bring us deliverance!